Are you and your partner experiencing differences in your level of sexual desire, where one of you is more interested in sex than the other? This kind of sexual mismatch can leave you both feeling guilty, rejected, or unseen. Fortunately, this is a common situation that can be overcome with the right information, tools, and guidance.
I'll work to help you understand and embrace your differences while finding solutions that feel right for both of you. This will help foster a safe and secure connection, on both an emotional and physical level.
Is there a mismatch in the type of sex you and your partner desire? For example, one of you is kinkier than the other and you're struggling to meet or understand your partner's needs.
When exploring differences in sexual interests, including BDSM or kink, it’s essential to work with someone who is not only affirming but informed. As a kink-aware therapist, I support clients who are dealing with a wide variety of emotions related to understanding and/or practicing consensual kink.
If you're seeking to find common ground, become more accepting of each other's desires, or overcome feelings of shame, I can help. By working with me, you'll gain clarity and mutual respect for one another.
To help support couples navigating this terrain, I’ve developed a blended care program specifically designed for low/no-sex relationships and those with mismatched desire. The blended care program incorporates an online course with live therapy.
Sessions are integrative, and utilize both sex counseling and evidence-based couples therapy. For example, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Imago Dialogue, and The Gottman Method. Mindfulness-based interventions are also applied, when needed.
The online course in sexuality includes videos, audios, mini e-books, short exercises, and reflection questions
You'll learn all about sex, starting with an anatomy lesson. But don't worry, this is not the sex education that you received in school! We'll be focusing on The Pleasure Model of Sex.
You'll learn about why we sometimes avoid sex and how men and women differ a bit when it comes to sexual response and orgasm. We'll also discuss sexual pressure and the orgasm gap.
You'll learn how to expand your sex script by creating a new sex menu that includes novelty and intimacy. We'll go over all the ingredients needed to enhance arousal and improve sexual satisfaction.
You'll learn about erotic templates and the most common types of sexual fantasies. You'll then explore your own template by reflecting on your upbringing, societal influences and your unique desires.
We offer couples therapy and intensive therapy
During the couples therapy program you'll learn how to:
Figure out what really caused the emotional disconnect with your partner and work towards making a repair
Practice new communication skills that will help you listen, validate, and empathize with your partner about sex
Discover your unique sexual template in order to reduce sexual shame and make peace with your sexuality
Recognize what inhibits and what ignites your desire, in order to be more open to new sexual experiences
Rediscover your partner and learn what they really desire in order to enhance the quality of sexual experiences together
Resolve blockages that prevent you from prioritizing sex, so that you look forward to sex and no longer see it as a chore
Debby Poort, B.A. Psychology
Registertherapeut BCZ®
KvK: 34332610
+31 (0)6-4263 6882
info@yellowwood.nl
MOC Building
Lindenlaan 75
1185 LC Amstelveen
Conveniently located for both Amsterdam and Amstelveen.
Bus: 357, 178
(Stop at ‘Sportlaan’)
Free Parking, Close to A9